I'm not suicidal, but...

I used to think that people who killed themselves were selfish, only able to see their pain and not the grief their actions bring to others. Lately, though, through stress, hormones, disappointments, financial problems, loneliness, and grief; I can totally understand feeling so overwhelmed with negativity that someone could be blind to the pain they cause in others. Once you lose sight of others, which could easily happen when you're buried in problems, you are totally susceptible to feeling worthless and not only unafraid but maybe eager for death to end the misery. 

I couldn't imagine killing anyone, including myself (so please do not 5150 me), but these days, when an abundace of pressure catches me at seemingly every angle in my life, I can see why someone might crave that way out, how if it's all processed in the wrong way, someone might go down the wrong path. 

The ever-optomistic saying, "Life sucks and then you die," is wrong. Yes, life breaks away at you, but imagine you are a giant sand dune. The wind, or life, blows at you until, little by litte, you've peeled away to a lesser height. It makes you smaller, or so it seems. But that sand doesn't disappear, it's just shifted to another place. Life doesn't break you down so much as it rehapes you. It can feel like you're broken because you don't feel as great as you once were, but that's only height. Your mass is the same, only your shape is different. And such is life, after everything has gone wrong.