It was a truly beautiful moment. We were standing on the cliff we'd come across on a hike, overlooking waves crashing against caves below. It looked exotically South American, like we'd somehow hiked through a wormhole in Southern California and came out along an idyllic Brazilian coast. It felt scientifically magical to stand there with Tim's arms wrapped around me.
He nuzzled his nose against my cheek before placing a small kiss on the same spot. He hugged me a little tighter and asked me if I would spend the rest of my life with him. Of course, he didn't technically ask 'Will you marry me?' or bend down on one knee, so I didn't truly know what was happening - I thought he was being really adorable and lovey because he's a really adorable and lovey kind of guy. I told him that of course, I would spend the rest of my life with him.
Then he said he had something for me and my heart jumped. I was already loving this moment and I really, really love presents, so to add a gift on top of already being in paradise was like a dream. He pulled the small box out of his pocket and I melted. On top of Mount Faux Brazil, with a cool breeze blanketing against the shining sun, our dogs sitting by our feet, panting & happy to be outdoors, I absolutely, without a doubt melted.
Then he opened the box.
Let's just say, while I was surprised, none of this was actually a shock. Tim & I had discussed that we wanted to be married many times. I never wanted a formal engagement. If two people can sit down and admit they want to be married, why bother with the whole charade of a ring and a surprise question that you already know the answer to because
we just discussed it like two logical adults. At that point, plan a wedding, already.
Tim had a different outlook on the matter and he was incredibly stubborn about it. In his head, you had to be engaged. A ring
had to be on the finger, or it wasn't real. Every time we had the discussion, I'd look him up and down, mentally judging whether I trusted his ring selection skills.
To build that trust, we went ring shopping and I sent him waterfalls of ring emails with pictures, links, tips. I even sent him photos of rings I thought were incredibly heinous, so he would know what to stay away from. I drew him technical sketches complete with specs about size, stone, cut. There was one point I stressed in every email, post-it, and shared link:
no diamonds.
Everyone "does" the diamond thing and I was not only born without the cookie-cutter gene, but I have a severe distaste for it. Diamonds are fine for girls who like shiny things without thinking too deeply about it, but I like color, content, and symbolism - not marketed symbolism, but
real symbolism. I do not want my love symbolized by a jewel that looks like broken glass, whose value is rumored to be a conspiracy, and was probably mined by kidnapped, forcibly drugged child slaves. Just because it happens on another continent does not mean it is exempt from the truth.
It is a known fact that jewelers lie and say their diamonds are from Canada. If I were a jeweler, as a small business owner trying to stay afloat, I'd lie, too. Who's to say these people aren't proficient at Photoshop, creating falsified origin certifications? As long as your appraisal is right, why would you ever question it? I have zero patience or trust, and I don't love diamonds enough to put that kind of energy into researching a stone. I'd just as easily move on to another one.
I love sapphires. The really good ones are hypnotizing in their depth, as if you were in a boat looking straight down into the water. In literature, blue symbolizes loyalty, sincerity, truth; all of which are a great foundation for a life long partnership. Also, a majority of mined sapphires in North American stores come from Brazil or Montana where kidnapped, forcibly-drugged minor miners are possible but highly unlikely. I like to cut my odds greatly.
I also love Russian mined Alexandrite. It's beautiful. In daylight, it is green as an emerald. By firelight at night, it is red as a ruby. Pragmatic green by day, passionate red by night. That sounds like a fun marriage.
Russian mined Alexandrite is the only kind that is green and red and impossibly difficult to come by. Indian Alexandrite is purple and teal, which is still really cool, but not quite the same, either. The closest stone would be color changing garnets, but the colors are not as bright and, again, they're more likely be mined by kidnapped, forcibly drugged children. Again, I maintain my stance on having no patience or trust.
To be clear, I've been passionately discussing my feelings regarding these stones for - literally - years. The moment I realized Tim may one day propose, before we ever had a discussion about marriage, I started talking about everything above. I used to joke that I would say 'no,' if there was a diamond in the ring.
You can imagine, then, my surprise when he opened the box and there was a square cut green sapphire (which technically isn't a sapphire if it's green, anything that strays from blue-tones is technically quartz) sandwiched between two giant diamonds.
I still said 'yes.' I smiled, cried, hugged and kissed my [now] fiance. I was oddly grateful we'd waited to officially be engaged, that I was able to see the nervous/relieved happiness in his face as he put the ring on my finger. Giddy, I called, texted, and emailed every person I knew with the wonderful news. We had celebratory french fries at the first snack stand we came across at the resort we were near. As we made our way home, I let myself absorb a simple truth about my life, and that is how incredibly lucky I am.
The next weekend we returned the ring to his family's jeweler. We had one custom made and I upgraded the stones to my tastes. Now, I have a ring that makes me as happy as the man it represents.
