Looking back seems to lead to results of which no good ever comes. Usually, nostalgia makes me insecure, opens old wounds, makes me feel [thiscloseto] where I began when I was looking to change. Sometimes, though, the stars align, a blue moon shines down on us, and the rare occurrence happens where you look back at where you once were and can witness the obvious progress you've made.
Today, I had such a delight.
I decided to tally all the work I've done for my employer which happened to make it into their runway show. It is by no means the sum of all the projects I've done for work, but it does show the strengths I've developed over the past year and a half.It shows the responsibilities they trust me with.
I added a sampling to the bottom right of the screen, if you scroll down you can see it.
When every day has felt like a fight within myself to become a better patternmaker, seeing the progress I've made is not only inspiring to continue this internal battle, but it shows me that I am valuable, that the struggle is worth it. I am worthy of working here, of being among these talented people. Of course, I borrow their talent every so often (as they borrow mine). It shows me, though, that I can do this.
Gosh darn it, I might make it, after all.
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