Oh hey, Men of the World. Take Note.

One day you may be lucky enough to meet the love of yor life. You'll want to spend every day with this person, and see them through the good times and bad. 

One day, you'll both be getting ready for bed when she'll say to you in a shaky, terrified whisper, "There's a spider in the bed." 

Take note: The correct response is to pick up the magazine that's been sitting on your dresser for a year and try to get the spider to crawl on it so you can take it outside and let it die of natural causes (because no one wants spider carcas on his/her freshly clean sheets). This is the right thing to do because your spouse has crippling arachnaphobia and the magazine is near your side of the bed. You will react promptly and sensitively. Aint no how spidey is crawling around yo woman tonight. 

What you shouldn't do is mumble something nonchallantly without lifting your eyes off the facebook scroll on your phone, finish reading your friend's über mensch status and then look up to check out the situation. You should not be surprised when that spider gets away and disappears almost seemingly into thin air on your spouse's side of the bed. You should not then complain about having to wash the sheets immediately because your spouse finds evil lurking spiders to be unclean. 

You should react with immediate gusto because the spider may appreciate the escape, but your spouse will never forget. And she'll live a lot longer than that spider. 

Take note. Take note.